


Never Let A Pirate Near Mistletoe

by PR_Booklover711



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family Christmas, Killian/David is a joke, Mistletoe, crack!fic, most characters only mentioned in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21905674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PR_Booklover711/pseuds/PR_Booklover711
Summary: What happens when Killian Jones discovers mistletoe?Crack Fic- Please don't take seriouslyMy first ever fic, feel free to let me know what you think (but please be nice or at least constructive!)
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Prince Charming | David Nolan, Prince Charming | David Nolan/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Never Let A Pirate Near Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Please be aware that the Killian/David "relationship" is a joke! This is just based off a silly little idea that's been in my head for a while. Not beta read. All mistakes are my own.  
> I don't own any of these characters, only the plot is mine.

Never Let A Pirate Near Mistletoe

The whole fairytale family were gathered in Snow and Charming’s new apartment. Regina had been invited for Henry’s sake as well as the hope that she would start to fit in and feel more comfortable around the whole family. Belle was always welcome at the Charming's, whilst Rumple was there courtesy of a slightly less willing invitation; but everyone wanted Henry to be able to celebrate with his whole family. Ruby, Granny, August, Jefferson and the dwarves were also enjoying the party. And of course Emma had dragged Killian along with her, not that he would have dreamed of being anywhere other than by her side, especially after they had started dating.

Their holiday celebrations were in full swing and everyone was enjoying their festive day. Presents were opened, hugs given, stomaches filled with delicious food and far too much eggnog was consumed. Everyone had split off into groups and were holding casual conversations about other holiday plans, highlights of the year and hopes for the future. 

Then the best and also worst thing happened-Killian learned about mistletoe. Throughout the day he had seen various friends and couples sharing innocent kisses on cheeks and lips, but thought nothing of it. That all changed when he and Emma had been walking through a doorway and she looked up with a smile ghosting over her face before she leaned in and gave him a sweet, lingering kiss without a care for their audience scattered around the room. This left Killian confused because whilst Emma could be affectionate in private, she was rather averse to public displays of affection.  
“Not that I’m not happy with your little display Swan,” Killian spoke with a smile on his face, but a slight crease of confusion showing between his brows, “But what was that for Love?”  
“It’s mistletoe Killian,” she replied, pointing up at the sprig of white berries hanging from the ceiling. “When two people pass under it, they’re supposed to kiss!”  
Killian’s trademark eyebrow rose as that devilish smirk graced his handsome face. “Why did you withhold this piece of information from me Swan? We should keep a sprig of this handy at all times!”  
“It only works at Christmas Killian, don’t go getting any ideas.” Emma rolled her eyes and made to walk away, but was quickly turned back around by Killian’s hook snagging around her wrist.  
“Well in that case Love…” he laughed at her, his hook and hand coming to run up her sides before settling at her waist to pull her closer. “I’ll just have to make the most of it, won’t I?” He once again smirked at her, the separate entity that is his left eyebrow crawling further up his forehead before he leaned slightly down towards her and captured her lips in a far less innocent kiss than the one they had shared earlier, his tongue coming out to trace her lower lip and only pulling away at the sound of David’s indignant yell.  
“No need to get jealous mate, I'm sure we can all meet under the mistletoe at some point throughout the course of this evening!” He called while sporting his typical shit-eating grin that meant mischief would soon arise.  
David simply glared at him, pointing a finger in Killian’s direction. “You keep away from my daughter,” he threatened before walking into the other room. “…And my wife!” He yelled over his shoulder - even if Killian was with Emma now, he did have a reputation after all. The only response he got though, was everyone in the room bursting out into fits of laughter.

Several hours passed with the usual holiday spirit and silliness that came from an already raucous group of adults consuming far too much alcohol. Games were played and more than a few kisses were shared under the mistletoe, although Killian met David’s request to leave both his girls alone.  
That didn’t mean however that he left everyone else alone (once he had spotted Emma kissing several other people and understood that it was all in fun and did not mean anything). He had been steadily drinking throughout the day and despite being able to hold his rum, by the end of the evening, truth be told, he was a little tipsy.  
His clear loss of sanity came when he sequestered Regina under the mistletoe and attempted to plant a big ol’ smacker on her lips. This only resulted in him receiving a death glare accompanied by “Not a chance Guyliner!” Although if you asked anyone, that was a positively friendly response compared to what Regina might have been inclined to do in the past.  
The fun carried on until the early morning, as did the alcohol. By the time they were preparing to leave, Killian may have actually been full on drunk for the first time in several centuries - Snow’s eggnog truly was potent! At least Emma hoped that he was drunk, for it was the only explanation she could think of for Killian’s behaviour next.  
Even if the room had started waving, making him feel like he was on the deck of the Roger, Killian did still have odd moments of clarity swimming through his head occasionally, and he saw when his opportunity finally arrived.  
As David stepped through the doorway to give him a good-natured, manly slap-on-the-back goodbye hug, Killian leaned in and kissed the prince, quickly pulling away and laughing along with everyone else at the ridiculousness of his actions and the look of absolute incredulity and shock on David’s face.  
“Seriously Pirate?!” David demanded. “Why did you do that?” His cheeks were flushed red and Ruby joked about it not being entirely from the alcohol anymore.  
His signature smirk once again graced Killian’s features as he tried to contain his laughter as he said “Come on mate, you know you enjoyed it!”  
Everyone snorted as David turned even more red. Killian’s moment of sanity once again returned, reminding him why he did this in the first place. “Besides Dave, you told me to stay away from your lovely wife and daughter. You said nothing about staying away from your oh-so-charming self!” The huge grin was permanently glued to his face by now, but it managed to get impossibly wider when Emma chimed in, reminding him just why he was so entranced with her in the first place.  
“Yeah Dad, he’s got a good point!” she giggled, hugging Killian’s side. “And I know he’s a good kisser but don’t go getting any ideas - this pirate is mine!”  
“All yours indeed Swan,” Killian declared, speaking over the top of David’s indignant spluttering.  
Her pirate then leaned down to kiss her, but she wasn’t as drunk as he was and she darted away and started down the street, calling back to Killian over her shoulder. “Oh no you don't Pirate - you might be mine but you just kissed my dad. That’s just weird!”  
That left everyone laughing at David’s blush once again as Killian called goodnight and ran into the cold night after his Swan.

Killian’s stunt was joked about over the course of the year and when next christmas rolled around it was David who gave Killian a drunk peck on the lips with Killian retorting “I knew you couldn’t resist mate!”  
This lead to their joke turning into an (albeit slightly bizarre) Christmas tradition that made everyone laugh time after time, especially as it became more and more competitive with who could surprise the other more.  
That was until one year when Killian had just escaped from David and made his way over to Emma with a huge grin on his face and said “Love I think we need to break it to your father that he and I will never happen! You’ll have to marry me, just so that he stops kissing me! I can’t keep leading him on!” He exclaimed dramatically, hands clutched to his chest.  
Meanwhile Emma was stuck on the words ‘marry me’. She knew Killian was messing around, but at the same time, it was something that she’d been thinking about for a while - being able to stand with Killian in front of their friends and family and claim him as hers.  
“Swan?” He asked in concern.  
She brushed it off and simply quipped, “You’ll have to ask properly first Killian,” before turning around and starting to walk off, only to be stopped by him calling her name.  
Emma turned around to find him down on one knee, his mother’s old wedding band grasped in his fingers and she gasped, bringing her hands to her face.  
“Emma, My Swan, the love of my life, meeting you is the best thing that ever happened to me! Not only did it bring me you, but it brought me this whole crazy family. You helped me remember that I had a heart and that it was ok to share it with people. All these people here may have a part of my heart for welcoming me into this family, but you have all of me. I can’t stand to think of where or who I’d be without you and I hope to never find out. So Emma Swan, will you marry me?”  
Emma couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her face, but when she lowered her hands from her face, Emma revealed that they were paired with the most blinding smile Killian thought he had ever seen. “I love you, Killian Jones! Of course I’ll marry you! Yes!”  
As Killian reached for her hand he noticed how much it was shaking and placed a kiss on her finger over her newly placed ring before rising with a breathtaking smile and pointing upwards, making Emma look up and grin at the sight of a small cluster of white berries and greenery hanging from the ceiling. Then all that was left to do was seal the engagement with a kiss under the mistletoe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Comments are appreciated, even if you just come and say hello! I have only just started writing, so if you have any tips on how to improve my writing, or want to tell me if there was some part you liked, let me know, so that I can keep writing better stories!


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